MENDENHALL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH
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Just Breathe
a weekly blog by
Penny Millspaugh

I have been serving in one form of ministry or another for most of my life.  Currently, I am a candidate for ministry in the ELCA, serving as a Lay Pastor for Mendenhall Presbyterian Church in East Grand Forks Minnesota.  I am also a trained Coach and Spiritual Director, working towards  certification in my Coaching.  I would love to hear from you, so feel free to comment below.  And if you would like to receive a weekly reminder about this blog, just sign up on the contact page and say "Blog" in the subject line.  I will add you to the group.  

Coming Back to the Heart of Worship! (pt 1)

5/24/2022

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When we think about spiritual disciplines, we often think about things like finding a quiet place to be alone, lighting candles, being silent, fasting.  And these are all important exercises in spiritual disciplines.  But they are just the part of the whole, the individual or private disciplines.  There are also corporate disciplines, the most common of which is worship.  So, what is worship, really?
Joyce Ann Zimmerman, in her book, Worship in Gladness writes:
​“Worship is much easier to celebrate than describe! Worship is much easier to describe than to define…And yet deep down, we all know when worship satisfies us or when worship leaves us feeling empty, when we hunger for more in worship or when we know we need to change how we worship.”   
We have all been to a new church, maybe when we are vacationing or visiting family. Even though it isn’t “our” church, maybe not even our denomination, yet, we just feel at home there.  What is it that makes us feel that way?  Other times, we can be in our own church, a church we have been a member of for years, and still feel like a stranger.  What could be at the root of this feeling?  Zimmerman talks about two phases of worship, greening or growth times where we are moving closer to God as a community and withering or dying times where God seems to be more distant.  
I am going to spend a couple weeks talking about worship.  So for now, I have some questions I want to ponder together. Again, these come from Zimmerman’s book.  Take some time to consider these questions.  Work through them in your journal.  And feel free to comment below, I’d love to hear your thoughts!  Then we will continue the conversation on worship next week. 
  • In our congregation, we experience the greening of worship in…..
  • We experience the withering of worship in…..
  • Worship is most important to us when…
  • It is least important to us when….
  • We personally most feel the need to worship when…
  • We personally least feel the need to worship when…
  • At this point, our congregation would describe worship as…
Change is inevitable in the church.  Pastors and other leaders come and go.  But the church goes on.  And worship continues.  We learned that even through Covid, worship continued for those of us determined to have it happen.  We found ways.  We joined congregations online.  We watched on television.  We opened ourselves to worship across the fullness of worship experiences.  And now we are back in “our churches” and somehow, church feels a little flat.  Many people have chosen to remain online rather than return to the sanctuary.  What are they gaining through the screen that outweighs the in-person fellowship?  How do we heal an ailing church if we don’t seriously explore worship, hospitality, outreach, mission… this is our chance.  Maybe our last chance to save the church as we know it.  Or to reinvent a different “model” of church that will fit more completely into this day and age.  But until we are brave enough to look at it honestly, we will never know where to go from here.  So, take some time.  Offer prayers of gratitude for your church.  What are you truly thankful for?  Remind yourself.  Thank God for those things.  What would you like to see different?  Do you have the power to make a change?  If not, who does?  What is your part…your place…your role…in the greening or withing currently happening in your church? 
While worship is most often a corporate discipline, we can also follow the example of some of the leaders in Scripture like David and worship privately.  We can come before God, offer our confession, ask for forgiveness, accept God’s forgiveness, read scripture, read or sing a psalm, and pray for others.  Then, we can go out with Joy, knowing our God goes with us.  Consider creating a space in your home where you can study and worship daily.  Not a sanctuary, but a designated space, maybe a special chair or using a different lamp, that, when you use this item it signifies to you that this is your time set aside for God.  It is different from when you use this space for daily life. 
May your time with God be filled with blessings and abundant joy this week! 
 
 


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Thank You!

5/16/2022

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When is the last time you said thank you to someone.  Not a casual, “Hey - Thanks” for doing something expected, but a real, true, full of gratitude kind of THANK YOU!   An “Oh my gosh you knocked my socks off!” kind of thank you?  If it’s been a while, your in luck.  That is what we are talking about this week.  And of course, it wouldn’t be my blog if I didn’t give you a chance to not only think about it but to actually practice this kind of gratitude! 

Lynne Baab, in her book, Joy Together, shares this story of she and her husband and their experience of thankfulness. 

“…my husband and I usually prayed together before bedtime a couple of times a week, and we had begun to notice that our prayers seemed repetitive, boring, and often desperate.  We actually felt more beaten down after we prayed than before, because our prayers basically consisted of a list of needs, and describing those needs in prayer brought them to mind in a discouraging fashion.  Nothing in our lives seemed to be changing because we had prayed.”

Out of this realization, Lynne and her husband, Dave, decided to start a year long thankfulness experiment.  Instead of their usual prayers, when they lay in bed each night they decided to try to think of something from the previous day that thy could give thanks for.

“We became more aware of what we had been missing in all those years of prayer times that were packed with our needs and wants.  We simply hadn’t noticed God’s good gifts to us.  Looking back, we felt a bit ashamed of the “give me this, give me that” orientation before we began our experiment.    

When we learn to be thankful, and to prayer our thankfulness to God, we soon realize that we have been missing so much of what God has been doing and where God has been at work around us.  

So how do we turn our typical prayers into prayers of thanksgiving?  Consider this fictional but very realistic example:

At a church or small group gathering, the leader asks for prayer requests.  Members of the group offer the following petitions: Sue is still dealing with chronic pain and facing another surgery, Don and May’s daughter is back in treatment for addiction, Jim lost his job due to cut-backs, the church budget keeps falling further behind.   Now its time to pray, and the leader says:

Holy and glorious God.  You have created us and given us all that we need.  We praise you for your mercy and your majesty.  Today we come before you in praise and worship and thank you for the many ways you have been at work in our community. 
  • Thank you, God, for providing medical professionals that can work to get to the source of Sue’s pain.  God we know that you are the great physician, and we praise you for the wisdom and love you have already provided the medical teams that have and will care for her in this continuing journey of healing. 
  • God we praise you that Don and May’s daughter has been found safely and is back in our community.  She too is receiving care that you have ordained for her and we praise you for that.  We thank you for your presence in her life and in this process for her. 
  • We praise you and thank you God, for being a God of new opportunities and surprising directions.  We know that you have a plan for Jim’s life, and we thank you for the many ways you are already using him to serve in this community and in this church.  We thank you for preparing him for what you have that lies ahead for him, whatever that may be.  For we know that You know the plans you have for Jim, plans to prosper him.  And for this, we praise you. 
  • Finally, God, we thank you for the fellowship of our church community.  We have become smaller over the years, but we praise you that even through this you are showing us what and who you would have us be.  Help us to rely on your vision and worry less about our plans. 
Thank you, God, for the love you have for us.  We praise and thank you every day that we are able to serve you and glorify you in this, your kingdom on earth.  We offer our prayers, our praise and our worship to you, our God and our Redeemer.  Amen.

Do you hear the difference?  By sharing only our praise and gratitude, the prayer is uplifting.  It accomplishes what was asked for.  We prayed for the petitions brought forward.  But we did so in such a way to celebrate the goodness of what God is already doing in the lives of these people rather than hashing through diagnosis and misery. 
 
Now it’s your turn.  Praying for others is a spiritual discipline.  For the next week, think of three to five people that you can pray for.  Then, rather than ask how you can pray for them, observe how God is already working in their lives.  Offer prayers of praise and thanksgiving on their behalf.  And if you feel really brave, write them a short card or note at the end of the week just to say you have been praying for them and how you have seen God moving in their life.  What a powerful gift you will be giving them, first to pray for them, and them, to let them know how you see God working in them. 
And if this feels good, don’t stop with one week.  Pull out the church directory or the local newspaper and keep praying for your community and your neighbors.  Let them know that you see them and more important, you see God working in them!  Amen!  

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Pilgrim Rain

5/9/2022

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   As we begin, take a moment to light your candle, take a few deep breaths to center yourself and place yourself in the presence of God.  Be sure you have your journal and a pen or pencil.  We will use it today. 
Peace and Grace to you.  As I write this – it is raining outside my window.  Not a hard stormy rain, just one of those spring rains that feels like its purpose it to wash the world clean and truly bring forth new life.  It won’t be long and we will see the grass greening up and the trees bursting forth with buds and those first early leaves. 
I love poetry.  And one of my favorite poets is Edward Hays.  I have carried around a tattered copy of his book, Prayers for a Planetary Pilgrim for years.  Decades even.  One of his poems that speaks to days like today, A Rainy Day Poem, is worth sharing here.  

​I greet you, Pilgrim Rain, mystic, ancient traveler,
     visiting me today, washing over our land,
     soaking the earth and enriching it,
     nourishing growth with greening gifts of life.
But you are only passing by,
Briefly streaming past my door
     on your pilgrimage to the sea.
You are a pilgrim who blesses all you touch;
     O gentle yet powerful pilgrim,
     stone-carver and sand-maker,
     what hidden gift do you have for me?
“I teach you about illusions:
     like brief bubbles riding tiny trickles
     are ideas that you control your life;
     flick a switch and you create light,
     turn a key and power fires,
     just twist a dial and music plays,
You live in an illusion of control.
“But I. by my downpour descending from the sky
     and flowing past your door,
     have altered your life today;
     your outdoor plans now rearranged,
     your neat agendas put on hold.
Learn of me how little you control in your life;
     yet, by changing your present plans,
     I offer you entrance to a timeless reality,
     A chance to listen and be present
To the One who is always beyond.”
Thank you, Pilgrim Rain:
     it’s a small but beautiful gift
     to be reminded of the reality of life.
Soon the fireball of my daystar sun
     will pierce with long yellow fingers
     your mobile home of gray clouds,
     and the wind will push them onward
     to send you on your restless way again.
Thank you for your holy pilgrim’s gift:
     may I live like you, always on the move,
     my home the endless journey, sacred-sea-bound.
May I live like you, falling and rising;
Nourishing always, till I ascend, once and for all.
 
                                  Edward Hays, Prayers for a Planetary Pilgrim. 1989

So now, take these words.  Read through them again slowly.  Let them, like the rain, soak in a bit.  What do you hear?  What speaks to you?  What does Pilgrim Rain have to say to you?  Was your day today rearranged because of her downpour?  If so, how did you use the time you gained?  Have you ever before considered the rain as a call to pause and listen to God?  “The One who is always beyond”, as Hays writes? 
One of the things I really like about Hay’s body of work is that he writes in many different voices.  This poem, for example, comes very much from a Native American voice.  Thinking of your own heritage, how might you approach this poem differently?  For instance, if you are Norwegian and your family farms – would you have a different perspective on spring rains?  How might you approach the Pilgrim Rain in your circumstance?  Or, knowing that we have had some recent flooding – if that is foremost on your mind.  How does that affect your approach to Pilgrim Rain?  Take some time to journal your thoughts.  Remember that ultimately, our goal is to create space and time for God to work.  So if you are feeling frustration, explore that feeling.  Talk to God about it.  God can handle your feelings.  If you are feeling afraid, talk to Go about it.  God can provide you with calm like no other.
Take your time.  Then, when you feel ready.  Stand.  Stretch.  Offer you prayer of thanks to God for the Rain – for with the rain comes the rainbow – God’s first covenant with humanity. 
Go in Peace.  

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But Why Discipline?

5/2/2022

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​Discipline.  Just the word makes most of us shudder.  It brings up memories of things like school days, when we had to memorize endless multiplication tables or spelling words.  It took discipline.  Or if you were an athlete, days and days of training, running drills and building up muscle memory to develop the discipline so your body could perform at competition level when needed.  Or, if you were a musician, rehearsing that same measure or phrase over and over again until you could play it perfectly.  Discipline.  Yes it may bring up painful memories, but it also achieved the goals we hoped for in most cases. 
So why is it that when we turn to our spiritual life, the word Discipline is one we run from?  Spiritual Disciplines do take intention – but all good things do.  Maybe, just maybe, we have been approaching Spiritual Discipline in a wrong way all along. 
Henri Nouwen, in his book Moving from Solitude to Community to Ministry said this about discipline, “…discipline means the effort to create some space in which God can act.  Discipline means to prevent everything in your life from being filled up with other things.”
So, if discipline in life means doing things that build us up: help us learn more, help us do more, help us play better or at a higher level, spiritual disciplines are in essence, just the opposite.  Spiritual disciplines are designed to make space, to create room, to offer pause.  Spiritual Disciplines create an opening for us to be with God and for God to work in us.  I won’t lie.  That may still be painful at times, but it is also very much worth it.  As we grow in our faith and become more and more the person God has created us to be we begin to recognize ourselves as the Beloved.  We begin to see ourselves washed in grace.  And we begin to understand love in a way that gives us more than enough to share, just as Jesus taught us to. 
Over the coming weeks, I will be entering a discussion of spiritual disciplines.  I will be focusing on personal and community-based practices, and I invite you to join me in this journey.  Each week, I will offer a specific practice that I encourage you to try.  See if it is a good fit for you.  Just as we are not all athletes or musicians you will find that not all spiritual disciplines are a fit for you.  But my hope is that you will find one or two that resonate with you and can become part of your journey.  I wish you Peace as you begin and Joy as you continue!
Penny             
This week’s practice is very basic.  It is simple Contemplative Prayer.  You will need a candle, a timer, a notebook or journal, and a quiet place where you can sit comfortably without falling asleep.  I find my desk chair, or a dining room chair works well.  I don’t recommend a recliner.  For the first day, set you timer for two minutes.  Light your candle.  Then start the timer and simply breath as you watch the flame.  If you find you thoughts wandering, refocus in the flame.  Or use a phrase like, “Abba, I am here” to recenter yourself.  When the timer goes off, offer a prayer such as “Thank you God, for allowing me this time to be with you.”  If you had any thoughts or insights, feel free to include them in your prayer.  That is it.  Each day, increase your timer by 30 seconds to a minute with a goal of getting to 5-10 minutes of comfortable silence.  May God fill the space you provide.  
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